Down 20 Feel Like A Mess

Sometimes I just feel like a mess, today is one of those days where my actuality matches up with my feelings. It is so hard for me to stay motivated. That is why I can never commit to things like this blog, when I literally have to put things like...

-Wake up
-Take a Shower
-Say I Love You

on my mental priorities list, well you can tell how base line I am feeling.

In other news It turns out I lost around 20 pounds this summer. I have been wavering back and fourth between loosing another 10 since I got home. I know I need to commit to my Yoga practice and things will fall into line, but I got so strong this summer and I have lost so much since I got home that it feels discouraging to start again.

I hope someday I will be able to see a turn around here, a place where I became more happy and hopeful, I hope to see a day where I can commit to writing enough to really help people by sharing my life.

Obligation update

Ok so I have been working on a fitness and wellness plan that should allow me to get the most out of my days and balance a healthy life with being a on the go student.

Mondays/ Wednesdays/ Fridays:

•  9AM- 4PM Classes and study time at the library
• 4PM- 5:30PM Couch 2 5K
• Lunch around 1PM
• Dinner needs to be quick or a crock pot dinner Wednesday and Friday
• Monday is Dempsy's night

Tuesday/ Thursday :

• 9AM- 12:30PM Classes
• 1PM Lunch
• 2PM- 5PM Study at the Library
• Yoga in the Evening

Saturday

• 9AM- 5PM Are productive hours only. Studying first if any is left over from the week and then sewing for the etsy shop.
• Yoga around Noon or in the Morning
• Leftovers for lunch 
• Prepare meal with Sam for dinner
• Study breaks are taken with walks
• Weight training with Sam in the evening

Sunday

• Church or meditation 
• Prep food for during the week
• grocery shopping
• day of rest

Break days:

Once a month I am allowed to take Saturdays off to do something I want that will take the whole day like go to the zoo or a museum. Volunteering at the Museum never counts as one of these days.

Bed time: I will always try to be in bed by 11PM and asleep by Midnight   

Discouraged

I am feeling discouraged lately, as is trend with my life, as soon as I started living healthier I began feeling sick. It always feels this way. I feel on top of the world for a few weeks then I end up sick. I feel like I am not able to form a habit of healthy living. I also don't have my support system here to encourage me to push pass things like achy joints.
Maybe I need to start by making one new healthy decision a day....

New Direction

I initially started this blog as a way to showcase practical cooking and baking in your own home. I aimed to gather recipes for college students who didn't know their way around a grocery store or Moms who didn't have the time to care about the variety of food they were serving. I wanted to introduce easy international dishes to people who never thought they could cook regional foods with what they could find at the local grocery store. In this desire I dreamed up "Almost From Scratch". After a few months of little use however I realized I wanted to chronicle more than just the foods I ate but also the changes I am making. This summer I am setting my aims high and my "from scratch" ingredients are my body.

So let me introduce myself...

My name is Sydney, I am 22 years old and engaged to a wonderful man who took this picture for me. I am aprox. 5" 2" tall, and ~ 200pds. I carry my weight through my hips, stomach, and legs. And I wear a size 18 jeans. This is my first step toward working with my body. Being honest about what it is. 

My ingredients...

I do have a few considerations beyond just my weight and age. When I was 16 I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, I have always been chubby to overweight but the diagnosis definitely complicated my life. It is not always the best choice for me to eat the "healthy choice", ie. raw veggies and fruit. 

I also hate exercise, I have always felt like a outsider to those who exercise regularly, like I am missing the gene that makes sweating fun.

But I do have a desire to be healthy. And this summer I am committing myself to building myself back from scratch not only physically, but mentally. I am going to try and keep writing about my progress, success and yes failures. I hope that I can start working toward a healthy life dispite my disease. 

My Motivation...

I love my family, friends and my fiance and I want to be the best person I can be for them. But more importantly I have decided that it is time I begin to love myself.